


Operation: Dicks Don't Lie

by Love_n_Sex



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Bulges, Burnie burns has a big dick, Daddy Kink, F/M, Frottage, Grinding, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 12:51:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11036541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_n_Sex/pseuds/Love_n_Sex
Summary: Reader struggles with the fact that Burnie seems to be packing something impossible, and takes it upon herself to figure out the true size of Mr. Burnie Burns' Johnsson, at all costs.





	Operation: Dicks Don't Lie

Burnie Burns. You had thought about it for a long time, and the answer is Burnie Burns. After weeks of investigation you have concluded that Michael Justin "Burnie" Burns officially has the biggest dick in the entire Rooster teeth office. You tried so many time to come up with ways that his bulge was fake. You've tried explaining it as a crease, an optical illusion from the light, you even for a while convinced yourself that he was stuffing a sock down there.

But he managed to convince you on the day of the meeting. When he had been drinking coffee and was to full of energy to sit down. He had been standing right next to where you were sitting and with a slight turn of your head you had been faced with... it. It was RIGHT THERE. You literally couldn't concentrate on anything being said when you had that next to your face, it was like seeing a 3D movie. But that wasn't what had convinced you. What convinced you was when it got so close to your face that you could smell the pre-cum. Boom, convinced. And stupid Burnie had just been smiling and acted normal, making his stupid jokes. As if nothing was out of the ordinary. But something was. Or at least you thought so. In the end, pre-cum couldn’t actually tell you if his he was actually as big as you thought, there was only one way to figure that one out.

But how do you go about seeing your boss’ dick? “Hey Burnie, I was wondering if you could look through these documents with me… naked…?” No, you had to be sneaky with this one, and you think you know just how. Time to execute operation dicks don’t lie.

You wake up in the morning and like any good agent start out with equipping you gear. Shorts that show off that amazing ass of your well and a low cut top to equip the two bombs perfectly. Thank god that you had been blessed in the chest to make the whole mission go off so much easier. You set your hair in a ponytail and get ready to leave. Just as you’re about to exit the door you realize that you almost forgot your secret weapon and grab the foil wrapped, deadly weapon. You head to work and head straight for Burnie’s office. No time to waste. He of course is already there, there’s rarely a day in which he doesn’t get to work early.

“Good morning (Y/N), what’s up?” He asks joyfully as he finishes up clicking a few things on his computer before looking up. He seems to stop for a second, losing his smile and widening his eyes a little, before going back to normal.

“Hi, I just had a few questions about the podcast this Monday.” You say smiling back and pretending to ignore his slight reaction to seeing you. 

“Then why the fuck are you here, shouldn’t you be going to Gus about that?” He says, now fully back to normal.

“Well I’m sorry for being in a good mood and not wanting to have that ruined by a half robot who lacks all human emotions but irritation.” You say back and laugh a little. He laughs back and you know that now is the time to initiate the mission. “Did you see my email?” You ask knowing you never sent one.

“No, I’m checking my email right now and I don’t see anything about the podcast” He answers, looking back at his computer with a confused look on his face.

“Really? Let me see.” you respond as you walk to him. You lean over to look at his screen and make sure that he has a clear view straight into your cleavage. In your peripherals you see how he tries to keep his eyes on the screen but how his eyes keep darting back to your chest. You can’t help but smile. You look down and see that the plan is under full effect, he’s starting to get hard. You grab his mouse as if you’re pretending to scroll and make sure that it is obvious how uncomfortable it is for you to stand like that.

“Wait let me-“ You say, cutting yourself off as you maneuver around his desk a little, with your ass right in his face (payback) and then sit down right in his lap as if it’s nothing. A small grunt escapes his lips.

“Oh, what are you- um uh okay…” he says not really making any sense.

“Sorry I couldn’t really stand like that.” You say back with a small chuckle.

“Yeah, no, don’t um… don’t worry about it.” He says as you look back at the screen. But your starting to feel a little disappointed. You can’t really feel anything. You decide to wiggle a little bit and then… Jesus Christ… That feels pretty fucking real. You feel yourself starting to get really aroused and nervous but you continue to look at the screen. You suddenly feel Burnie lean forward a little, creating the tiniest amount of friction between you two and grab the mouse while you’re still holding it. His hands are so big and manly and God you feel like you want those fingers. He steers the mouse and you feel a strange feeling of him being in such control, that awakens something strange in you. You realize how small you feel in general sitting here in his lap.

“Here let me see if I can find it.” He half mumbles so close to your ear and God it feels good. He’s so close that you feel his beard rubbing your neck. Then suddenly he starts chuckling. “I fucking knew it.” He said.

“What?” you say, feeling as if you have suddenly been snapped out of a dream for a moment.

“You don’t even realize? Do you?” He says in a slightly mocking tone.

“What? What’s happening?” You say getting a little paranoid for some reason. He leans in closer to your ear, his lips touching your earlobe slightly. You almost shudder but you stop yourself.

“I can feel your wetness seeping through.” He whispers in a low, gruff, sexy voice. Now you do shudder. “Explains why you’re in here showing off your tits for me, sitting that ass of yours in my lap.” As he says that he grinds against you so slightly. You don’t know what to say. You open your mouth but nothing comes out. As your mouth is open he moves his big hand from the mouse to your thigh and suddenly instead of speaking, you moan. 

“Why are you here exactly?” He says. This time, you manage to. Make out words.

“I wanted to know.” You say timidly.

“Know what?” He said as if he was demanding an answer. You move your hand towards his crotch and grab a hold of part of it.

“Know how big you are.” You say half confidently, half ashamed of yourself. He stops again. This time a little longer.

“What do you mean?” He asks turning her body a little bit and looking her in the eyes for the first time since she sat down.

“I’ve seen it through your pants so many times and convinced myself that it can’t be real. I needed to know if your cock was really as big as it seemed.” You answer looking him back in the eyes and grinding back into him. He lets out a low growl as you do.

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” He says as he thrusts instead of slow grinding. You moan hard. “Now that I know that’s you’ve been a little slut, staring at my dick, I’m gonna treat you like one.” He says. “I’m going to take out my dick, fuck your mouth with it, and then-“ He says as he grabs you crotch “I’m going to fuck your tight pussy with it.”. You look away moaning and continue to grind into him. You then realize that he’s waiting for some kind of answer/confirmation. You turn back to him and look him in the eyes again.

“Yes daddy.” You say and he’s gone. He grabs thrust into you violently multiple times before he lifts you off of him, stands up and bends you over the table. Suddenly you feel his hand smack against your ass with only a little force. You turn around and face him smiling. You slide down to his massive erection shown so clearly through his pants and you unzip and pull down his pants. You can’t believe what you see. Mission successful.

“You like what you see?” He says cockily looking down at you. “10 inches baby.” 10 inches is crazy, yes, but the girth of that thing is even more impressive. How is it gonna fit anywhere. You lick along the underside of it and he groans before you take in as much as you can. He grabs your head and steers you. Once again you feel so controlled. But he somehow knows your exact limits and you never choke or anything. “I’m Burnie motherfucking Burns” He says. And you can’t help but laugh a little. Eventually he takes himself out your mouth and lifts you up. He sits you on the table spreads your legs and shoves himself in. He already knew you were gonna scream somehow and as soon as you let out as sound, his hand covers your mouth. “Remember we’re in an office.” He says in a slightly joking tone as he moves slowly.

“No, I want it hard.” You say. He stops and lets out a small chuckle. And then thrusts in hard. Before taking it out again and thrusting in hard. He repeats this a few time at that pace before he speeds up. Suddenly he’s thrusting full force in and out of you quickly. You moan and he grunt over again. He reaches down and touches your clit. Goes behind it a little and rubs with on pace with his thrusts. You start getting louder again and he kisses you roughly to quiet you down. He feels so good and in charge. What a man he is. He leans forward so that you’re practically lying on the table with your legs loosely wrapped around his waist. Suddenly you realize that you forgot your secret weapon in your back pocket but you don’t care. You’ll get a morning after ill or something.

He lifts you off the table and fucks you while holding you up. He then sets you down for a second and leans you over the table again. He rams into you and continues fucking you from behind.

“Ah, Burnie, please!” You say, not really understanding what you’re begging for. He slaps your ass. You then instantly come so hard that you start seeing stars. You’re screaming now, not caring if anyone hears.

“Did I say you could come?” He asks loudly and smacks you again. “Did I?!” He pulls out of you and you get on your knees and sucks his big dick off. He then pulls out of your mouth and comes all over your chest. He slumps back down in the chair breathing heavily. The two of you look at eachother and start to laugh. That was something else.


End file.
